One Sunday evening, I came upon a wonderful documentary about an exhibition being curated for The Met, New York featuring Chinese fashion and artefacts over the generations. The documentary focussed on the planning stages of the exhibition with the New York based curator and his engagement with key Chinese designers who were supplying the costumes, or fabrics and artefacts. A comment from one of the Chinese designers caught my attention – “Try not to make it too busy! If you are seeing too much, you are seeing nothing.”
Indeed.
It made me think – “When do I try to see too much?” and
“What is it about having to fill empty space?”
This same concept can apply in our day-to-day lives. In a bid to make sense of a complex situation we are required to consider different possibilities, without all the information we may need. Often it is related to the underlying narrative that might be unconsciously ‘running us’ and we may feel overwhelmed endeavouring to decipher the ‘connectors’ or the key implications of the complex issue. There is an art to being able to stop, take a moment and gain a greater understanding of all the elements of a situation before diving in to ‘fix’ something.
A wonderful example from a recent workshop I facilitated can illustrate this concept in a work setting. During a process focussed on ‘listening’ without giving advice or solving the problem, I noticed one person seemed to be listening very intently – so much so that there were deep furrow lines on their forehead. When I asked for feedback on the process they confirmed what I had observed – which was that when listening, it was important for them to ‘understand’. As we discussed this further, they shared that they do the same thing when reading the paper, and friends had said that they looked angry. Other leaders had also given feedback that they came across as being angry or aloof – not their intent at all.
Identifying this allowed us to explore another way of listening, which was really ‘seeing’ a bigger space. Rather than focus on my face only I asked them to look at the whole space around me – in essence, to expand their perspective and take in the subtle physiological cues I might be giving, such as my breathing, my eye shifts, body shifts – my whole energy space – seeing the bigger picture, not just the detail and relax into ‘trusting’ that the ‘knowing’ will come. It is not just words that the information is given. This pivot for them caused a major shift in their ‘being’, physically and mentally, as they realised there is a deeper way of seeing.
Listening in this way is a way of increasing your ability to ‘see’ a situation.
It requires radical presence, and the ability to not just hold the space, but be in the space. If you like, to be truly present in your whole being and in the ‘field’ in which we operate.
Once we shift attention from focusing on “what I need to do next”, to observing what is already there, your effectiveness in both seeing and listening expand exponentially.
Be so still inside (yet vibrant) that you can listen at every moment to what life is offering you. David Steindl-Rast.
The majority of my work is with leaders in many phases of life – aspiring leaders within corporates, executives in transition, entrepreneurs following a dream driven by their inner desire.
I was working with a young aspiring leader in the same week who has, over a period of time, received feedback that he seems to be ‘holding something back’ and is difficult to connect with. This is interesting because he presents as a very ‘open’ person, and in fact believes he is an open person. We spoke about the concept of the field of energy which we emit – often unawares, and the opportunity to explore different ways of connecting, and of understanding how others ‘see’ us, albeit more often than not, unconsciously.
The value of holding ones personal space well so its energy can be experienced and leveraged is paramount to attending to your ‘field’. This is at the core of Aikido, a Japanese martial art, which enables the practitioner to ‘see’ what is happening not just in front of them, but behind them, to the left and to the right. Space and seeing are critical to engage with the energy in the room and of your potential ‘opponents’ intentions. As Harriet Rubin (2000) says on the use of fields: “ It’s a matter of intentionally letting go of your focus, or your sharp focus, and of letting yourself see with your imagination” (p. 340 “Living Dangerously” Fast Company). This is what a great artist does, a curator, and a leader who truly sees the ‘space’ in which they are operating.
For your reflection:
What does your ‘field’ look like? What do others ‘see’?
Are you so intense in order to understand?
How can you embrace simplicity, keep the space free and uncluttered, so we may observe from a different ‘view’?
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