“Fate is a story that’s been written for you by somebody else. Destiny is a story that you write.”
I was reading an article last weekend, and this caught my attention. It made me think – “What is the story I am writing for myself.?” And “What actions have shaped my story along my journey of life? “
The majority of my work is with leaders in many phases of life – aspiring leaders within corporates, executives in transition, entrepreneurs following a dream and inner desire.
The one constant I have noticed in all these different interactions is the underlying narrative that is shaping the story that the person is currently living and how this narrative affects their approach to the situations in which they find themselves.
One of the characteristics that can set us apart, is having the capacity to navigate the ‘unexpected things’ that life sometimes throws at us and having the capacity to embrace the unknown, the complexity of the situation, by stepping back and observing from a different ‘view’.
Environmental complexity is rising faster than our developmental complexity, and we often need support in shifting frameworks of how we see ourselves in order to remain aligned with how we live our destiny and the story we want to write.
I had the great privilege of studying with John Perkins and he believes change is shapeshifting in all its forms – and storytelling is a part of the shapeshifters tradition.
It provides a narrative to explain what is happening to us in our story. When we have a strong sense of who we are, our perceptions, lifestyle, way we work, interact with others and even create, take on a different meaning.
A number of the younger leaders I am working with are experiencing these challenges differently. They do not seem as overwhelmed by the speed of change and lack of certainty this brings as some of their more mature counterparts I work with. Of course there are some who are despondent regarding the future, but the majority have an optimism about the changes occurring. Maybe it is because they have yet to find or work with their shadows, which often comes up to be redressed in our later years.
Maybe that is what wisdom is? An unexpected benefit of maturity of a life well lived. An understanding of not having to hide that which we didn’t want to own. Shadows are everywhere around us, different norms that have formed how we see ourselves, and want others to see us.
As David Drake noted in his book, Narrative Coaching, “In order to develop a greater wholeness, maturity and wisdom on the other side, we have to release our cherished image of ourselves (or at least how we want to be seen by others)”. Embracing our qualities and our shadows, those imperfections, allows to be all of who we are as we define our destiny, and write our story.
Reflections:
- What actions have shaped your story along your journey of life?
- Who or what has inspired you along your journey?
- Are you living your story or someone elses?
I would love to hear your stories, your insights, what shaped who you are today, and which will be reflected in how you show up tomorrow.
Anna
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