Release what WAS. Accept what IS. Create what must BE.

Over the years, numerous insights into what resilience is and how to develop it have been written and offered by various respected authors, psychologists and consultants. This week a couple of colleagues and I were in discussion and agreed that with the increased anxiety that we are observing in people, and in society at large, that a ‘reframe’ of what resilience was needed. For many, the context appears to have shifted.

Resilience is different for each person. Our disposition to handle different levels of stress, to stay with the unknown, to navigate the increased levels of complexity – all of these are becoming increasingly important to one’s sense of well-being, to be able to thrive and not simply survive.

When reading the news – if we take it as gospel, without the capacity to discern what is real and what is not (especially the ‘news’ on social media), it is easy to go into ‘overwhelment’ – a response strategy I mentioned earlier this year.

Discernment is essential for resilience. We need to consider:
“How can we listen differently? “ Sifting the facts from the fiction, to tap into that inner resolve within.
According to Jennifer Garvey-Berger, Leaders need the capacity to do this in ever changing environments, (and information overload)
I believe it is the capacity to look within and ask:

• Whose truth is it I am listening to? 
• What is my truth in this situation?
• How do I step up and be heard?

Leadership from within, requires a strong, well developed internal frame of reference to balance the external noise. This is not about ignoring the external noise, but in having the ability to handle the hard truths, to do your ‘own’ work, take responsibility and, importantly, avoid the ‘simple’ stories. By this, I mean the propensity to fall into the trap of ‘cause and effect’, making connections that are not the heart of the issue, but which are made because they were easy and on the basis of past experience or assumptions.

It requires one to believe in one’s self, and trust those around you.

A wonderful example of this occurred at the Netball world cup in Liverpool last month. The Silver Ferns were given no chance of being the world cup champions, based on the results from the past three years. So much so, they were not even promoted on the billboards at the courts or in the media. 

Turmoil is a word that would have described the team, 10 months out from the championships. Their NOT winning a medal – for the first time in history at the Commonwealth Games- resulted in much consternation and a total review of processes and leadership.

The captain of the team was dropped along with the previous coach. A new coach in Nolene Taurua, who, 3 years previously had been overlooked for the role and subsequently moved to Australia where she successfully coached the Sunshine Coast team to be winners of the local Australian derby.

Nolene was sought out to rebuild a ‘damaged’ team and brand who had slipped to 4th in the global rankings. With a standing commitment to her existing contract, she made coaching the Silver Ferns work – on her terms. This required a rethink on her behalf and those of her employers, and most of all, the resilience of the players. A mindset if you like of – “we need to do this differently.”

Humble enough to ask for support and guidance, Nolene elicited the services of 3 other specialist skills coaches for the day-to-day on the ground work – one being her old ‘roomie’ Debbie Fuller.
This approach led to different ways of thinking, of expectations, responsibilities and at its’ core, the team had to prove aptitude, attitude and ability as well as perseverance.

This process developed a deep sense of belief in each player. At the core was resilience. The capacity, both as individuals, and as a collective, to ‘bounce’ back – to back themselves and each other.
Developing that strong internal frame of reference, letting go of the ‘ego’ and proving they deserved to be part of the team – this was especially true for the Captain, who was dropped, and had to prove her ‘right’ to be selected in the team.

They WON the championship against the odds for the first time in 16 years. Their resilience in the final quarter of the final made the difference. Individually, each had done their work. Collectively, they worked as a team. They trusted in their ability. They trusted in each other and, they trusted in the ‘unknown’ – with the capacity to rethink and adjust in the moment, focusing on the direction and not the destination.
They won by one goal!

Being in the moment is essential to resilience!

A client I am working with who has an amazing capacity for innovative ideas and working hard, often at the expense of looking after himself, had found himself at the receiving end of some strong criticism for not listening or taking over. He took this personally, until he realised that, in part, it was factual, and that it was a behavioural tendency that when things were not going to plan, he did more. Even though it was not his job to do so. Stepping back, trusting the team, focusing on his bigger role as General Manager, to guide the organisation through challenging times and identify the strengths in all of his team. In essence, to look at how he was creating a sense of ‘belonging’ for each individual, and taking them on the journey. More importantly, how he was firstly nurturing himself – finding that resilience within to trust and enable.

It requires discipline, discernment and diligence – and a deeper meaning for oneself.

• What do you need to release?
• What do you need to accept?
• What do you need to create?

The direction is more important than the destination.
The Tall Journey focuses on direction.